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What is going to be with my relationship
I am in relationship with a ten years older man. He is divorced and has two grown up children. But he lives in the same house where his ex-wife and children live. They live on the ground floor, and he is upstairs, in a single room and have separate bathroom. He has no kitchen, and does not need it because he eats in restaurants and at my place. We are in a relationship for more then two years. I live in a rented one-room apartment. I expected him to move in with me, to live together, to plan the future, but in vain. We spend much of our time together, talking about everything, he often sleeps with me, he takes me even in his house when celebrating his childrens birthdays. I complained to him, and he promised that we will live together, but nothing has been done on this issue. Once I broke with him with the expectation of changing his attitude, but in vain. Soon we were together again but he continued to behave as before the break. I am very connected to him. He helped me with my job and was with me when it was the hardest. It’s very hard for me even to imagine life without him. Will he ever decide to live together with me, in marriage or not? Is there any chance there? Psychologist's answer It is quite natural and normal that you want to have a husband and to plan the future with him. The man with whom you are currently in a relationship obviously doesn’t have the same needs and desires as you. As you wrote, he is ten years older than you, he was married and has two children. He has already accomplished himself as a family man and feels no need, nor desire to go through all these „family stuff“ again with you, nor with any other woman. Everything indicates that he is satisfied with current situation - he lives near his ex-wife and children and has a relationship with you without any obligations. If two people have different needs and desires, it is hardly possible to make their future together. You have to look at the situation more realistically and show more self-esteem. Brake up is painful, but staying in this relationship makes you dissatisfied and it also hurts. |